Find a better dermatologist.

My partner’s psoriasis is way more severe than yours it sounds like. Without regular treatment, we’re talking 30-50% of his body is covered in psoriasis scales. With treatment, the scales recede to give him only slightly weird looking skin. There’s a fairly wide range of treatment options, but for my partner most of them do not work terribly well. He uses coal tar hair and skin products, because for him it’s beneficial and helpful. Most of the prescription skin cream options cause skin irritation or skin thinning for him, but a couple work. And the majority of his treatment is UV light therapy. A good dermatologist will work with you to work out a livable system.

We focus a lot on what a doctor would call “palliative care”. It’s stuff that has no medical benefit in a measurable way, but does help him feel better. Most scented products (even things like laundry detergent) irritate his skin. So basically everything possible is fragrance free. I keep psoriasis and guy friendly lotions, bath salts, bath oils, massage stuff etc around. A lot of lotions that are supposed to be hypoallergenic or soothing will itch or burn on a psoriasis patch. Stuff that doesn’t can be a bit tricky to find, so I make a point of just having stuff around that is actually nice to use. While he doesn’t use conditioner much, there’s always conditioner that’s nice to use too.

The other factor is we do a *lot* of stuff to actively manage and minimize my partner’s stress levels. For my partner, exercise is a big stress relief. So we’ve set things up so he bikes to work, because biking is fun and makes him happy. If it’s not a good idea to bike, he takes public transit. Driving a car makes him really unhappy, and it doesn’t take much planning to eliminate it for commuting. Deadline pressure also makes him crazy, so his job is one where he can largely avoid deadlines or work in a way where his work is done in plenty of time. Stress is a pretty individual thing. While your stress may not show instantly on your skin the way my partner’s does, it’s probably still worth managing.

Chances are you can work out something liveable with a lot less effort. My partner’s case is quite severe, and a lot of the stuff that helps his psoriasis helps other things too, like my depression or asthma.